You guys don't have to read if you don't want to cuz this is just me pouring out my frustrations. I don't see Facebook or Twitter as good mediums to do this so I chose dA.

Anyways, I'll start.

How long has it been since I wrote a journal entry? I don't know...
Ever since I entered sec 3 (Grade 9, I think?), life has became so hectic and scary. If I'm not rushing one assignment, I'll be rushing the other. They pile us with projects after projects and expect everything to be done along with the usual written assignments within the time limit as if we don't have a life. I know everyone is like that too but like I've said, I've been keeping this inside me for very long and just need a way to let it out.

Nowadays, those free moments I have are enough for spazzing over Vocaloid. Watching Vocaloid videos, discovering new songs. Downloading one Vocaloid/utattemita song after another and tracking their producers/lyrics/off vocals/etc. I've had a lot of inspiration and ideas which I've sketched on my sketch pad but never had the chance to transfer to my computer cuz my scanner is in a very inconvenient place, granting me limited access. I've already started on my art trade and request but never had the time to complete. I apologize greatly for this and I'll try my best to finish by this year..

Just by turning my head to either side of my table, I see piles of homework and textbooks, all waiting to be done/read through. Right after a short, unfulfilled one-week holiday, my teachers are already talking about mid-year exams. On top of that, there are so many school events we must participate in. Looking at the standard of the homework I'm getting, I'm afraid for the exams. It's making me feel so pessimistic and pissed at myself and the only way to distract myself is through the things I "shouldn't" be doing, aka Vocaloid and thinking about anything but schoolwork. And as I drag and waste time, I feel more and more guilty. My teachers are all good and I don't wanna disappoint them but I dont' have enough discipline to cram and do homework all the time. As you can see, I procrastinate A LOT. This year, I wanna to train myself to be more self-disciplined but...sigh...

If I can have just one day fully to dedicated to drawing or completing my art trade and request, I'll be happy enough for the rest of the year. Next year, I'm taking my O levels. I don't even wanna begin thinking about it.